Welcome to week 7 of the Gridiron Victoria Division 1 Power Rankings. I think it’s about time I wrote a proper introduction, instead of just copy and pasting from the first one of these we did.
It seems that I have a conundrum with writing these Power Rankings each week. If I write too many jokes, I get in trouble for being too funny (harsh). If I take a serious approach (a la “The Diplomat” Stafford over in Croydon), people say I’m being too boring (factual). So since my team is back in the winner’s circle and in the top four, I believe I’ve earned the right to rip into the other teams again. I can’t wait for the complaints. Please direct them all to the Gridiron DownUnder website or Facebook page, or better yet go straight to Richard “Dick” Garraway’s personal Facebook account. Yeah, do that.
- Croydon Rangers (5-1) Same spot as last week
“The Diplomat” Jamie Stafford has the offense humming and is on track for the league Offensive MVP in this writer’s opinion. The defence has been solar powered by Mark Doyle’s bald spot, which somehow gave him the power to scoop and score on a fumble against the Miners (on a side note, we support renewable energy here at Gridiron DownUnder).
- Monash Warriors (5-1) Same spot as last week
I’m sure they enjoyed the bye week, and made full use of it to peruse europlayers.com for some new imports. They may need a top-up at runningback with the GV season running into October this year: Backfield Superstar Luke “Whitey” Jackson may not be able to handle the increased sunlight for 40 carries a game.
- Western Crusaders (4-2) Same Spot as last week
Back-to-Back wins against the two easy beats of Division 1 will have the Cru full of confidence. With the Never Gonna happen League now being postponed until 2017, they keep offensive weapon Tyson Garnham for the entire season, which is a huge plus. The real question: Can Number 50 at linebacker make it through the rest of the season without breaking his neck? He has clearly never seen the heads up tackling videos.
- Geelong Buccaneers (3-3) Up one Spot
Finally back on the winner’s podium. Still not healthy. Mobile QB Number 5 made a couple of key scrambles and important throws that kept them in the game against the Royals. Fans (more like fan: singular, am I right folks?) in the stands were confused about how a man limping on one leg could get 12 yards on a 4th down.
- THE MELBOURNE UNIVERSITY ROYALS (3-3) Down one spot
The scoreboard showed Buccaneers 26, Royals 20, but the highest number on the day was Royals penalty yards. 499,929,999 by my estimate. The lads from Melbourne University seemed to struggle to score on a field that was correctly marked.
- South Eastern Predators (1-5) Same Spot as last week
Suited up about 20 guys on the weekend, incidentally that’s about as many points as they have scored all year.
- Berwick Miners (0-6) Same Spot as last week
2-1: Those are the odds I give the Miners of forfeiting at least one game over the remaining six.
Check out the wrap-up of Week 7, the GV players of the week and the Power Rankings from last week.
Nice work on the power rankings although you could probably increase the p!ss-taking of Richard and Jamie.